10 Things I Wish I Had Known And Stuck To From Early On
05. Feb, 2010 
10 Comments
I’m over 50 years old, and whilst I’m not a great believer in regrets, I’ve made more than a few mistakes along the way. Many people at this point would write something like “and I’ve learned from every mistake!” Unfortunately, being stubborn, that has not always been the case and I’ve repeated some mistakes several times before I got the message – and some I’m still learning!
However, there are a few things I wish I had discovered, learned or been told earlier in life that would have made things a whole lot easier. Or maybe I just wasn’t ready to hear those messages back then – these things have a habit of happening when they should!
What follows are just a few of those things. Just the “benefits of hindsight ramblings of an old git?” Maybe, but if it helps anyone else deal with the issue quicker than I did, that’s good.
1. Money management and in particular two aspects: the first is how to avoid or control spending on impulse. I’m betting better at controlling the impulse, but it still bites me, especially when it comes to buying books. The second is how to plan financially – not in terms of complex investments etc but simple planning. If I’d learned these two things 30 years ago, life would be far more secure now.
2. The importance of exercise. Well, this is ironic – I studies physical education, played sport at a good level and then around the age of 43 or 44 stopped. My weight went up by over 15 kilos (33 pounds for those not fond of metric measurements) and although I’ve reversed this, I’m still wageing war with those extra few pounds. The turning point for me was when I realised that I was getting out of breath walking up the two flights of stairs to our apartment.
3. Don’t confuse activity with effectiveness. This one I still find difficult. If I find something interesting I can become totally absorbed in it. This happened recently when I was researching social media – I found myself on it for 8 hours a day but to what end? Fortunately my wife gave me some feedback about this and I have changed my on-line habits. (You tend to listen if your wife has a degree in psychology and represented her country at martial arts!)
4. Find your passion and focus on it. Well, I got this one half right – I was extremely fortunate to find my passion, writing and running training courses, early in life. The bit I got wrong, and still do sometimes, is the focus bit. Right from the start, the aspect of training I was most passionate about was personal development – helping people to unleash their potential in mind, body and spirit. Whenever I deviate for this for any time, I get into trouble, one way or another.
5. Take time for the key relationships, especially family. If I have one regret in life about something that was within my control, it is in not spending more time with my children when they were growing up. When I was growing up, my father was away a lot so this was the norm for me. And whilst I swore that “when I have children I will be home for them”, history repeated itself and I travelled a lot for work. I do now miss those years of their youth and they can never be recaptured. But I suppose I must have a touch of gypsy blood in me as I still travel a lot. Fortunately, I’m now married to a wife who enjoys travel even more than I do!
6. The relationships that matter in your life are far more important than possessions, TV, the internet etc. Each is like a rare and precious flower – take time to nourish them and they will reward you spectacularly. Neglect them and you risk them dying on you.
7. True happiness comes from within. I’ve spent my fair share of time chasing happiness in all forms and I guess my Higher Self has now got its revenge – my body now has a very limited, and sometimes zero, tolerance of alcohol. I was also a bit of a spiritual tourist, thinking I could find happiness and fulfilment if I could only read the right book. Eventually (and perhaps I should have taken out shares in Amazon, so much have I spent with them), I realised that the books might provide the key but I had to put in the effort and find happiness within. I’ve also discovered that focusing on being grateful for life rather than worrying about what I don’t have, helps.
8. Talk with your partner. Most of used to at the start of a relationship but it’s easy to get out of this habit due to work pressures, particularly if you are self-employed. And tell them that you love them… not occasionally but every day… not once but several times during the day.
9. The end of a life is not the end of a relationship. My mum died when I was 17, which affected me hugely and for a long time I ran around, chasing comfort tricks to distract me from the pain. Many years later, my wife introduced me to the phrase at the beginning of this paragraph and it finally helped me to put a lot at rest. Someone dies physically but they live on in the hearts of those who love and remember them.
10. Don’t beat yourself up over the mistakes – they have been part of the experience that have led to you being who you are. If you can bear the above in mind and get to a situation where you do what you love, love what you do, and get handsomely rewarded for doing it… it was all worth it!
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Thank you for sharing this 10 great tips. When people read this post they’ll could well all be thinking the same thoughts. If only . . .
I too am over 50 but being in that age group doesn’t prevent me from taking on board what you have written and using it in my life.
Thanks Paul!
Modern scientists tell us that because of neural plasticity, we can always form new neural networks, so we can always change. many years ago, Jethro Tull sung something similar “You’re never too old to rock and roll, if you’re too young to die!”
I like this. I wonder why it’s difficult to follow such simple and good advice? A guy on the radio the other day said ‘you don’t stop doing things when you get old, you get old when you stop doing things.’ I liked that one too! Cheers, Ian
Thanks Ian, glad you liked it. I like your quote from the radio too! Have a great week,
Nic
Hi, Nic
nice blog, wise rules
I will remember often the 3rd one
during all these seemingly-busy days
never underestimate a gift/jon anderson
thanks
Magda
Magda
Many thanks for commenting – I like the third one too; it’s so easy to think that as long as we’re being busy, we’re ok!
Keep well
Nic
Wow you are older than me – I clicked thru expecting to see a 20-somethings “experience” of life LOL. I think the trick is to get on doing new stuff – never grow up is my motto – still figuring out what I’ll do when I grow up – meanwhile I’m having fun and making a little money.
Growing older is chronology – growing up is a choice and I choose not to! Thanks for commenting Lis!
Nic, I can relate to all of these and think that I have used most of them (most) of the time. I think No 4 is one of the toughest as (to some extent, it is beyond your control, a bit like finding the right partner)
A good list Nic
rdc
Richard
Many thanks for your kind words! I agree, number 4 can be tough, but well worth trying!
Love and Light
Nic