Personal Growth or Personal Stagnation?

What’s stopping you from achieving personal growth? Michael Jordan recently said that the only thing that held him back was himself and there’s a lot of truth in his statement. So let’s have a look at the ten most common reasons for our not achieving what we want to.

1. Fear of Failure

This is one of the most common fears impeding our personal growth. Are you afraid of failing? Are you afraid of the scorn or “I Told You So” response from those around you?  If so, ask yourself a simple question – how do you know you will fail? And how do you perceive failure? One of the big differences between successful and unsuccessful people is the ability of the successful to reframe negative situations. The ‘average’ person looks at the undesirable result as failure and beat themselves up over it as I wrote here.  The successful person looks at it simply as an outcome, then tries something else and ultimately produces their desired result.

2. Fear of Success/Personal Growth Means Hard Work.

Whilst some people are afraid of failure, others are afraid of achieving their goals or of  the price that they fear they may have to pay for their success. So they stagnate rather than enjoy the benefits of growth at a personal level. Fuelled by quick fix, get rich quick schemes, many people are loathe to put in effort, to take direct action. Others are afraid of the jealousy it might cause in people around them and the friendships they might lose.

3. Poverty or Scarcity Consciousness

Most of us were told when we were growing up that we should not be greedy or selfish. We may also have been brought up to believe that the world has only a limited amount of resources, that there’s not enough to go round so we’re being selfish if we succeed.

John Kehoe (1992) summed it up when writing:

“Imprint these 4 prosperity beliefs into your unconscious mind:

1. It’s an abundant Universe
2. Life is Fun and rewarding
3. Staggering opportunities exist for me in every aspect of my life
4. Having lots of money is good. It is my responsibility to be successful. “

There is nothing greedy or unspiritual about having money; it’s what you do with it that matters. Greed is keeping it all for yourself, wanting money for money’s sake, which is selfish. The positive is all the good you can do with the money you earn – it’s difficult to make a difference in the world without earning the money first.

4. Life is hard with little reward

Yes you have to put the effort in, and the reward is commensurate with the effectiveness of the effort you put in. Note the subtle difference – I didn’t write that the ‘reward is commensurate with the effort you put in’, but with the ‘effectiveness of the effort.’ There’s a huge difference!

The distinction is simple – effectiveness means doing the right things (as opposed to efficiency which means doing things in the best way), so are you being effective? In other words, is everything you do aimed at living your dream? If the answer is ‘no!’, then yes, life can appear to be hard with little reward.

True achievement never diminishes someone else, is never selfish. Make sure that you never allow yourself to be jealous of someone else’s success. Instead, see it as proof that if they can succeed, so can you! As well as the direct benefits your service provides, there are also the indirect benefits; you spend the fruits of your success, creating profit for others, contributing to the economy as those people in turn spend their greater profits and so on.

5. Having a closed mind

This is typified by phrases such as ‘There are already so many books out there’, ‘That won’t work for me because…’, ‘It won’t work in the current economic climate’, ‘That might work for most people, but I’m different/my situation is different’, and so on. A closed mind is another way of saying that ‘My perception of the world is right and is the only valid one.’ It actually becomes a self-reinforcing, vicious circle. A closed mind closes down its options.

6. Money is unspiritual

You can be spiritually rich and financially prosperous. As you reap your rewards, think about all of the causes you’ll then be free to support, to invest in! While money is unspiritual if you allow it to manage you, the more money you make, the greater the causes you can invest in!

7. I am unworthy/nothing good ever happens to me

This is one I can really identify with; for a long time, due do an overheard conversation that I misunderstood, I believed that my younger brother was more intelligent than me and that nothing good every happened, or would happen, to me. I guess that this was exacerbated by my mother’s death, which served to reinforce the belief that only bad things happen to me. It’s a dangerous mindset to have, because anything to the contrary is discounted or ignored, which ultimately is the path to depression.

8. Nothing I do is good enough

Do you believe this? If you do, my question for you is what are you using as your comparison? Good enough compared to what or whom? And look at your belief…nothing? Have you never produced a good result at anything? At some stage in your life, you must have succeeded at something. So you can get good results. Which means that the belief is false. Time to reprogram yourself!

9. My failure is a result of bad karma from a past life

Make it a regular practice the philosophy of Givers Gain, espoused by BNI, for example. That will quickly cancel any “Karmic Debt” you may carry. And there’s a bonus – The more you give, the more you’ll receive! Give more, get more, give even more, get even more and so it goes on!

10. God will provide so I don’t need to do anything

God/the Universe/Spirit are available to help you if asked, but they won’t do it for you; as I’ve said before, you have to play your part. My wife has a great expression “Trust God but lock the car doors when you park.”

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