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When we give with an open heart, however, we remember that we’re not alone.

You might be thinking, “What? Of course I’m not alone! – I know that” True. But let’s try a simple experiment. In order for this to work, you need to be stressed about something. If nothing that’s happening currently springs to mind, think of something that has stressed you recently.

Most of us have stressors in our daily lives. Some act on us immediately. Others have a more cumulative effect. Pressures of work, of having to buy groceries, attending frustrating work meetings, organising schedules, planning celebrations, contact family and friends, clean the home, acting as taxi driver to our children especially at weekends when we should be etc. – and time always seems to be in short supply!

So, my question is:

When you are stressed, how much time do you spend thinking of yourself and your life?

Most of us in that situation  think about thoughts our work, the things we need to do, about the past, ideas about the future, thoughts and feelings about relationships with other people. The higher the degree of stress, the more we focus our attention on our own lives.

And when we’re focusing on our own lives, we become oblivious to the other people ‘out there’, and that they have troubles and needs too.

That’s where the miracle of giving comes out.  When we give with an open heart, we lift our gaze from ourselves and see other people. Sometimes, just that act is enough to help us to get a sense of perspective on our own lives.

I find it interesting that in the Buddhist tradition, the first of the ten Perfections is Dana, the path of unselfishness. Dana means being able to embrace a state where we freely give of ourselves to others, whether the giving is of your material goods, time, skills or wisdom to others.

This clearly demonstrates that unselfishness is the fundamental source from which all spirituality flows. For instance, unselfishness is the root of kindness and compassion. Unselfishness can even lead us to a feeling of elation, particularly if we give with no expectation of receiving anything in return.

Unfortunately, many people’s motives for giving are often tinted with ‘unclean’ motives: perhaps we feel bullied or shamed into giving; or we give to receive a something in return; or we give in order to feel good about ourselves.

At the core, however, I believe that each act of giving comes from a place  of goodness, even if our personal needs cloud our natural goodness and generosity.

Giving moves us because it frees us as well as allowing us to share our abundance with others.

“Rely on your own strength of body and soul. Take for your star self- reliance, faith, honesty and industry. Don’t take too much advice — keep at the helm and steer your own ship, and remember that the great art of commanding is to take a fair share of the work. Fire above the mark you intend to hit. Energy, invincible determination with the right motive, are the levers that move the world.”

Noah Porter 

The Prozac Generation

So many people today feel downhearted, dispirited, dejected, rejected or worse. Leaving aside the fact that many doctors feel pressurised into meeting their patients’ expectations and prescribe tranquillizers for them, people frequently end up on Prozac or similar medication. Yet, the solution is often simple and requires no pills or other ‘comfort tricks’ such as recreation drugs, alcohol, cigarettes etc.

Reframing – Remembering Your Dreams

People have become disconnected from their dreams – there is inside of each of us, a calling to do something extraordinary. When we are young, we often dream of doing that extraordinary something, then life causes us to lose sight of the dream. But it is still there; your authentic nature, and your purpose remains, to fulfil that dream which, when allowed to manifest, will bring us abundance.

• Do you do what you love, and love what you do, and get handsomely rewarded for it?
• Do you leap out of bed every morning, filled with inspiration for the new day?
• Do you believe that every day is a special day?
• Are you in control of your life, taking full responsibility for it, or do you blame others and believe that you are a victim of your past?
• Do you believe and true happiness and fulfilment come from within, or are you a spiritual tourist, trying to find yourself by going on courses or visiting far away places to ‘find yourself’?

If you are living your dream, you will be able us to say a resounding ‘Yes’ to the three questions above. If you can’t, or if you want to do even better, read on!

Reframing Success

Instead of allowing yourself to become despondent, conquer the fears and blockages by giving yourself a confidence boost. Ask yourself:

1. Where are you already successful?
2. If you are calling myself a failure, who are you comparing yourself to?

How well is the person you are comparing yourself to in 2 succeeding at the things you described in 1.?

Ask yourself “How am I defining success?” For example, If a person who has spent their whole lives wanting to be CEO of their company, finally achieves their dream but at the cost of their health and their marriage(s), do you consider that to be success?

Reframing Technique

Incidentally, reframing is a very useful technique to develop. Put simply, it’s looking for the silver lining in the cloud, looking for the positive in a seemingly negative situation.

Sometimes people have difficulty changing behaviours that no longer appeal to them or serve them. Behaviours that are hard to change are often labelled ‘habits’. Being able to change any behaviour you choose, when you choose, is a prerequisite to successful living. One effective way of changing behaviour is through Reframing.

Anytime we ‘draw our map’ of the world, we create a particular frame of reference. Reframing is about changing the different components of your map, as well as changing the way you look at your map.

For example, imagine you’re stuck in traffic and you’re becoming more and more frustrated. The frame of reference you’re applying is that you should be in motion, driving, getting to your destination as quick as possible. Hence your frustration. But, if your frame of reference is that being stationary will give you some uninterrupted time to think about any subject you like, or listen to recordings of empowering speakers or your favourite music, then the experience is no longer frustrating, it’s empowering.

Reframing Road Traffic Accidents

Alternatively, it’s interesting to see how people’s attitudes to being stuck in a traffic jam changes once they learn that the cause is a serious accident and that as a result, someone has died. They move from being frustrated or angry at being late to realising how lucky they are not to be in the accident and feeling sympathy for the relatives and friends of the dead and seriously injured. Those in the traffic tailback see their delay in a different light. That too is reframing in action.

Reframing is Not Denial

Reframing is not denial. Remember, there is no one definitive map. You create your own reality, based upon your perception. That’s another way of saying that you choose what an event means to you. You’ll be finding out more about perception in a later article

All too often, we feel a loss of control or believe that we have no choices. That’s partly because we see things in a single frame of reference, but by reframing, we re-affirm to ourselves that we have options and choices, that we have some control over our lives.

Reframing Negative Situations

One of the big differences between successful and unsuccessful people is the ability of the successful to reframe negative situations. While the ‘average’ person looks at the undesirable result as failure, the successful person looks at it simply as an outcome, then tries something else and ultimately produces their desired result. And that is the essence of reframing!

It is a question of experiencing everything. At present, you need to live the question. Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it, find yourself experiencing the answer, some distant day.”

Rainer Maria Rilke

If Newton had let his conscious mind get in the way, would ge have understood the lesson from the falling apple?

If Einstein had allowed how conscious mind to get in the way, would he have experienced the ride along the sunbeam that allowed him to understand his theory or relativity?

Had Edison allowed his conscious mind to tell him that he’d better give up after 1000 “failures”, would we ever have had the first commercially practical incandescent light?

In what ways do you allow your conscious minds to stifle your genius?

So, the biggest mistake people make when meditating is…. trying to ‘do’ rather than to just ‘be’. This can be a really difficult concept for people to learn, and even harder to explain in writing! The key thing is, meditation is about being, not about doing. It should unfold from within you; it should not be about taking on some externally imposed activity.

It’s about being who you are, not someone else’s ideal you, fully present, relaxed, fully accepting of who you are at that moment.

One way to practice this is to say to yourself, on the exhale…”Just be (insert your name)”. So if I’m doing this exercise, I would say “Just be Nic”.

Another tip, borrowed from Alain and Jody Herriott, is to slow down the exhale as much as you can.  They say that, ideally, the out breath should be so slow that it would not disturb the flame of a candle.

Good luck and let me know how you get on in avoiding the biggest mistake people make when meditating!

What do we mean by spirituality? Does it have a place in the business world? Does it even matter?

First of all, let’s make a disctinction between spirituality and religion. At the spiritual core of all all religions are the same principles:

1. Unconditional Love of God (however you imagine the Divine to be, of self and of others

2. Awe and gratitude for who we are

Religions are then built on top of these principles, unfortunately often distorting or forgetting them. This post is about spirituality, not about any particular religion.

The principles above lead on quite naturally to me saying that I believe that they matter and that moreover, they can be guidees that determine our behaviour.

At a macro level, if everyone applied the principles to organisations we would experience:

1. Employee fulfilment
2. Compassionate capitalism
3. Acting responsibly

At an individual level, I would suggest that Spritual people, or people acting in a spiritual way:

1. Are not restricted to their five physical senses, and think ‘multi-dimensionally’, as I believe Einstein described it.

2. Know that there is more to life than logical cause and effect. Accept that somethings just ‘are’, without any rational explanation.

3. Know that we are not alone and that we can consult our Higher Self for loving guidance.

4. Listen to their intuition, however it expresses itself, as they value intuition as being their Higher Self talking to and guiding them.

5. Avoid being overly-controlling, focusing on empowering themselves and others.

6. Feel connected to all of humanity – modern physics is beginning to show how matter is interconnected – hundreds of years ago the Hopi Indians called this the Web of Life

7. Is motivated by ethics, love, serenity and quality of life and not by power, posessions or achievement at the sacrifice of others.

8. Practise meditation or other ways of being still.

9. Know that a violent response to evil is the same as participating in evil. (S)he rejects evil and fights for good.

10. Focus on what (s)he is for rather than what (s)he is against; this is key as it moves the focus from problems to solution ie being pro peace rather than against war

11. Feel a sense of responsibility and belonging to the universe and are in awe of being here. They work to protect rather than desicrate the environment.

12. Know that there are few, if any, limits and, see ‘miracles’ as stretching boundaries, as achieving results that others think impossible

13. Live a life of understanding and forgiveness rather than seeking revenge or trying to get even.

14. Do what is right, ethical and moral rather than hiding behind ‘it’s legal’.

15. Know that there is nothing unspiritual about earning money, for with money you can do good work and support empowering causes.

16. Know that true happiness comes from within rather than seeking for it externally.

Please note that this list is adapted from a book by Dr Wayne Dwyer called ‘Real Magic, Creating miracles in everyday life’

My challenge is to consistently live and behave in a spiritual way; it’s often challenging, sometimes because of difficult circumstances, sometimes because people believe that if you are spiritual you are somehow a soft touch!

Placebo Surgery

Another variation of this was where patients suffering from knee problems were divided into three groups. The first group received a keyhole surgical intervention that washed out the knee with a high pressure water spray. The second group received a keyhole surgical intervention that involved scraping away the damaged tissue. The third group received a keyhole surgical intervention that put the patient through the same time on the operating table as the other two groups, and the keyhole incision was then closed, without anything being done.

Many patients in the third group reported after recovering from their operation, that their knees felt better and worked more efficiently. Even after they were told that nothing had been done, their recovery continued – there was no relapse.

New Insights Into the Placebo Effect

Until very recently, the placebo effect was considered to be a purely psychological response. However, scientists have now discovered something very exciting. When given a placebo, the body manufactures the same chemicals as would be provided by the equivalent pharmaceutical drug! In other words, we all have a pharmaceutical lab inside us that can produce all of the drugs we need, if we can only trigger the process!

The Placebo Effect and “Miracle” Cures

Scientists are often quick to dismiss “miracle cures” and any benefits arising from complementary medicine as being “just the placebo effect”. Not only is this ironic, given the amazing abilities of the body to manufacture the cure it needs, it also hides a challenging truth. Dr Benson, of Harvard University, opened Pandora’s Box when he conducted a rigorous study that revealed that no treatment for Angina Pectoris, either by drugs or surgery, outperformed the 35% placebo effect.

But when the physician and patient both believed in the treatment, the success rate soared to 90%!

Positivity and Levels of Immunoglobulin-A

In one study, ( Reported in the Journal of Advancement in Medicine, Volume 8 Number 2) subjects were asked to focus on positive thoughts for 5 minutes each morning. Their levels of Immunoglobulin-A (The immune system’s front line defence against a variety of viruses and bacteria) increased sharply and stayed high throughout the day. It didn’t matter what the subjects thought about as long as it triggered positive thoughts and a state of positivity.

Other subjects were asked to remember an angry feeling and replay it in their minds for 5 minutes. Their levels of Immunoglobulin-A dropped and stayed significantly lower than normal for the rest of the day.

The first part of this study confirmed the findings of an earlier experiment by Harvard psychologist Dr. David McClelland, who found that  Immunoglobulin-A levels increased in students who were shown a video about Mother Teresa.

Positivity Leads to Quicker Recovery From Surgery

Digging a bit deeper, there are over 1200 peer-reviewed studies that show that people with established spiritual habits, which by definition includes positivity, recover from major surgery faster and with less pain, with lower 6-month death and re-hospitalisation rates than those with no spiritual beliefs and lifestyle.

These studies have been widely reported in publications such as “American Psychologist”, “Psychosomatic Medicine” and “Family Medicine”, “American Heart Journal”, “American Journal of Psychiatry”, “Journal of Clinical Psychiatry”, “Psychological Reports”, “Journal of Gerontology”, “American Journal of Public Health” etc.

In addition, Norman Cousin’s book “Anatomy of an Illness as Perceived by the Patient” is a testament to the power of laughter and a positivity in defeating illness.

Positive Psychology

This book echoed the approach of psychologists such as Maslow,  Rogers, Fromm and Seligman who can be considered to be the philosophical fathers of the new area of Psychology, called “positive psychology.” Positive psychology focuses on promoting mental health rather than merely treating illness and as its name suggests, is based on helping patients find happiness and fulfillment.

Unfortunately, as so often happens, people have jumped on the bandwagon, diluted positive psychology and turned some of it into new- age quackery. The outcome has been than in the eyes of the media and of many people, positive psychology as a discipline has become wrapped up with the “get what you desire by saying a few affirmations and thinking a few positive thoughts” brigade.

The Drugs Don’t Work!

Incidentally, contrast the efficacy of a positivity to life with the report from the US Congress Office of Technological Assessment, which stated that 85% of drugs now in use have no satisfactory scientific documentation to back them up!

Or with the statement by Allen Roses, worldwide vice-president of genetics at GlaxoSmithKline, that less than 50% of patients prescribed some of the most expensive drugs got any benefit from them “It is an open secret in the drugs industry that most of its products are ineffective in most patients but this is the first time such a senior drugs boss has gone public.”, reported the Independent on December 8, 2003.

So, if you want to stay healthy, or recover quickly from major surgery, it appears that positivity, married with a consistent spiritual practice, is an important component of health and well-being.

Do let me know what you think about all this!

Motivation Tip 1. Attain your dreams. Avoid damaging people, matters and places. Eleanor Roosevelt once stated the future belongs to those who trust in the beauty of their ambitions. Trust in your self, and in what you are able to accomplish.

Motivation Tip 2. Think about things on every angle and aspect. Motivation issues forth from determination. To be able to comprehend life, you ought to feel the sun from both sides.

Motivation Tip 3. Don’t give in and don’t quit. Edison failed once, twice, more than thrice prior to coming up with his invention the light bulb. Make motivation as your steering wheel.

Motivation Tip 4. Enjoy Life! Work as though you don’t need income. Dance as though nobody’s looking. Love as though you never cried. Learn as though you’ll live forever. Motivation comes about when individuals are happy.

Motivation Tip 5. Loved ones and acquaintances - are life’s greatest treasures. Don’t loose sight of them. Give more than what is adequate. Where does motivation and confidence take place at work? At home? At school? When you exercise extra effort in executing things.

Motivation Tip 6. Hold on to your aspirations. They might dangle in there for a minute, but these little stars will be your drive.

Motivation Tip 7. Brush off those who try to demolish you. Don’t let others get the best of you. Remain away from toxic individuals – the sort of people who detest hearing about your success.

Motivation Tip 8. Be yourself. The key to success is to be yourself. And the key to failure is to attempt to please everybody. Love your self. Now isn’t that simple?

Motivation Tip 9. Continue trying regardless how difficult life might seem. When an individual is motivated, eventually he sees a harsh life at last clearing out, paving the way to confidence.

Motivation Tip 10. Make things happen. Motivation is when your aspirations are put to work. Practice makes perfect. Practice is about motivation. It lets us learn ways to recover from our errors.

Motivation Tip 11. Never lie, swindle or steal. Always play fair.

Motivation Tip 12. Open your eyes. Individuals ought to learn common sense. They discover things in 2 ways – how they wish things to be, and how they ought to be.

Motivation Tip 13. If you give up, you’ll never win. And winners never give up. It’s your choice – are you going to give up? Or be a winner?

Motivation Tip 14. Remember, motivation is about preparation. We have to hear the little voice inside us telling us to get moving before other people will get on their feet and join in. Remember, it wasn’t raining when Noah constructed the ark. Quit procrastinating!

Motivation Tip 15. Take charge of your life. Discipline or willpower jives synonymously with motivation. Both are central factors in confidence.

Motivation Tip 16. Understand other people. If you know how to talk, you ought to also learn how to listen. Long to understand 1st, and to be understood 2nd.

Motivation Tip 17. Envision it. Motivation without imagination is like a boat on the ground. Want it more than anything. Dreaming means trusting. And to trust is something that’s rooted in motivation and confidence.

Motivation Tip 18. Be different from the others. When you’re motivated, you tend to apply “extras” in your life like extra time for family, extra help at work, extra care for friends, etc.

You’re unique. No one in this world looks, behaves, or talks like you. Value your life and existence, as you’re just going to get one.