How would you feel if, as soon as they met you at a social networking event, or online, someone opened a conversation with you as follows:

“Hi, my name is Robin and I want to tell you about this great product I’m selling on my website!” What would your reaction be? Most people would be put off and discouraged from continuing the conversation.

To take this a stage further: you go into a restaurant. After you’ve sat down, the waiter approaches you with a glass of wine and tells you your meal will arrive shortly. When you ask to see the menu, the waiter just smiles and says “We don’t have menus. We’ve been in the industry long enough that we know what you need. Trust us!” How long would you stay at that restaurant? A few people might stay, out of curiosity but most people will get up and leave immediately.

The challenge for on-line marketing and networking is that this ‘one size fits all’ approach may have succeeded in the past. However, the internet means that customers are more aware of the choices available to them, making the generic approach redundant. Equally redundant is the approach that revolves around having a “bag full of solutions and looking for a problem that fits”.

And this is the dichotomy presented by social media and social networking. You may be under pressure from your boss, the bank manager or whoever holds your mortgage to get quick results. But one thing that Connect, Engage, Share tells us is that while forming relationships and building trust with people is vital, it’s a slow process.

One way to speed up the process is to have a strategy that allows for this gradual build-up. You might want to start with a blog, then give away a free report then perhaps build a membership site. You might also want to post videos or podcasts where you discuss key issues and give out key messages in your field.

Or you may choose to build up a presence on a network site or two, link with lots of people and when the time is tight, introduce them to your product(s) and/or service(s).

Whichever approach you use, and there are many more, the common thread is that you are building a perception of your authority, your right to sell. Repeated loops of connect, engage, share help you to build trust. It’s also the essence of what Penny Power’s book, Know Me Like Me Follow Me is all about.

Timing is important but when the time is right, don’t be afraid to advertise your products and/or services. It’s just as silly to never pitch as it is to pitch when first meeting people. It’s also unfortunate that “marketing” and “selling” have almost become dirty words in the Social Networking world. Altruism only goes so far, it doesn’t pay the bills!