This site is dedicated to helping you to unleash your potential – to be outstanding! To do that, you have to take on life full-on, committed to be the best you can be at whetever you are doing. 

We’re surrounded by challenges – sometimes it may be a minor illness, other times it’s something deeper and more meaningful. It helps me to understand that whatever the nature of the problem, because we are integrated beings, each dimension affects the others. Simply put, we have four dimensions: Mental, Emotional, Spiritual and Sensory (Physical). Trouble on one dimension affects the three others; if they are not in balance, using the first letter of each dimension tells us that we will have a MESS!

So, to help you to unleash your potential and avoid creating a mess, here are 10 questions to  ask yourself:

1. What do I really want?

The question of the ages. So many things you want to do with your life and so little time to even go about during the day. Find something that you are good at can help realize that small step towards improvement. Diligence is the key to know that it is worth it.

2. Should I really change?

Today’s generation has taken another level of redefining ‘self’, or at least that’s what the kids are saying. If yo uwant to thrive you have to push yourself beyond your current limits. This inevitably leads to change. Are you prepared to make the necessary changes?

3. How Can I Reframe This?

With so much is happening around us there seem to be no room for even considering that light at the end of the tunnel. We can still see it as something positive without undergoing so much scrutiny. And if it’s a train at the end of the tunnel, take it for a ride and see what makes the world go round!

4. Am I Comfortable With what I’m Doing?

The need to be comfortable, to be in control, kills growth. Careers stagnate because people want to stay with what they know. Mario Andretti, the former Formula One Motor Racing World Champion put it this way: “If it feels like you have everything under control, you’re not going fast enough!”

5. Have I Done Enough for Myself?

Have you, or is there something more you want to do? Discontentment in any aspect of your life can be dangerous in large doses, but in small amountsit can help you to see and do stuff you could never imagine doing. Another aspect of this is to ask yourself how much time you’ve spent on your own development. I realised recently that I’ve neglected this for a long time; it’s a common problem for those in the “giving” industries such as consultancy!

6. Am I Completely Happy at Where I Am Today?

It’s an unfair question so let it be an answer! You love being a good and loving mom or dad to your kids, then take it up a notch! Your kids will love you forever. The same goes with everyday life!

7. Am I Happy With My Personal Image?

So maybe I don’t have an answer to that, but that doesn’t mean I can’t try it, though. Whether you shape-up, change the way you wear your clothes or hair, or even your attitude towards people, always remember it will be for your own benefit.

8. What Do I Think My Limits Are?

I suppose in this case there is no such things on having things too much or too little, but it’s more on how badly you really need it. You may like to have lots of money but the question is how much effort are you prepared to put into it?

9. What motivates me?

What motivates you? IWhat really excites you? There are so many things that can make people happy, but finding the right thing for you may be the hardest part.

10. What Really Makes You Tick?

So, what really makes you tick? You can be just about anything you always wanted to be, but tif you start off by thinking about all of the reasons you may fail is already giving up before you even start the journey. Always remember, that unleashing your full potential is about all four dimensions, otherwise you’ll end up in a MESS.

Researchers go so far as to claim that in certain circumstances, 80% of what we believe to be accurate memories in fact include distortions, deleted information and influences from our upbringing, education, other similar experiences etc

For example, some time ago, a psychiatrist had a patient who believed he was a corpse. He did nothing all day, didn’t eat or work, just sat around believing himself to be a corpse. The psychiatrist tried to convince him he was not a corpse by asking him, “do corpses bleed?”

The patient thought for a moment, then replied:” No, as all bodily functions have closed down, a corpse can’t bleed.” So the psychiatrist picked up a needle and  pricked the patient with it. The patient started to bleed. The patient looked amazed and started to bleed. “”Well I’ll be damned,” he said. “Corpses do bleed!”

It’s not what happens that counts, but how we interpret it and respond to it.

I’m reminded of a case study of twins: one of them was a drug addict serving a life sentence in prison, the other was a highly successful businessman, as honest as the day is long, with a wonderful family; a pillar of his community, as the saying goes.

A reporter interviewed each of them. The prisoner said: “I grew up in a poor household in a savage environment. My father was a drunk, who beat us, our mother a drug addict. How could I have turned out any differently than I have?”

The businessman said: “I grew up in a poor household in a savage environment. My father was a drunk, who beat us, our mother a drug addict. How could I have turned out any differently than I have?”

Part of my development has been to try to identify when I distort, delete or generalise information and to try to deal with it in a more straightforward way. It’s hard, particularly when dealing with people or issues I feel strongly about, but I believe it’s worth the try!

Have a great weekend.

Gratitude = Spirituality and Happiness

Being thankful for everything  you have is one of the keys to spirituality and the spiritual life, makes you a happier individual, and it makes other people happy to be around you. On the other hand, being thankless is among the biggest acts of self-centeredness that we are capable of as human beings.

Make appreciation a part of your daily life. Recognising other people for what they’ve done for you, even the little acts of kindness, is essential even when the individual is family or a close acquaintance.

Let Your Light Shine!

Say “thanks” for each act of kindness incurred. It’s so easy to state and yet so frequently taken for granted. It’s particularly true when it relates to your own loved ones. Let your spirituality shine through!

Convey your appreciation and gratitude frequently. Take the time to write a note or send an e-mail even if you already said thanks. Send a present to show your gratitude for someone’s help.

Servant Leadership

Seek chances to reciprocate favors as soon as possible. Be observant and provide service rather than asking if help is required. If you truly want to enjoy a spiritual life, servant leadership is a key component of spirituality, and one that is much overlooked today!

Count Your Blessings!

Calculate your blessings rather than wanting for more and moping around about what you don’t have. Put down a list of things you’re thankful for and you’ll be astonished at what you have to be thankful for. Be grateful for what you have, rather than grumpy about what you don’t have. Feeling gratitude is intimately tied to being fulfilled.

Find ways to support other people who are less fortunate. You never know when the tables may be turned.

The Little Things Matter

Acknowledge the little things. There are little things about life that you are able to be thankful for at this minute. The air you’re breathing, this is a major one. Take a breath and realize being permitted to have air is an astonishing feeling. Don’t take this for granted. Likewise the water you drink and the food you eat… be thankful for them too. This is crucial to life.

Appreciation List

Make a list daily. Make a list of the things in nature that you’re thankful for and bit by bit provide reasons and notions why you’re thankful for them. As you construct this list you’ll feel very empowered. This appreciation list will help you on you life travel. Remember to place matters here you feel thankful for.

Three Levels to Appreciate

Be thankful for life. There are a lot of matters to be thankful for on the material level. A roof over your head, your auto, your apparel etc. But what I wish to point out here is there’s a 2nd level of gratitude that’s more potent than the material. This 2nd level is being thankful for life. This is being thankful for life experiences, trees, wind, friendships, and close relationships. These are more potent as they’ve a feeling attached to them. This makes it more tangible and authentic to you and the cosmos.

The Third Level – Spirituality and the Spiritual Life

And at a third level, it’s fundamental to spirituality and the spiritual life!

Conclusion

Cultivating an attitude of gratitude for our lives, the planet, our family and friends is a key part of a happy, and if you want one, a spiritual life. It’s a much more practical demonstration of spirituality than locking yourself away in a retreat or becoming a hermit in a cave in Tibet!

Believe in yourself. Have faith that whatever you are trying to do, you can do it!.

Take time to mend: it’s stated that time heals all wounds. That is not always true. It requires time and work to manifest healing.

It’s essential to grieve: Grief is a part of the healing procedure. Let yourself go through all the phases of grieving. Denial, anger, natural depression, bargaining, resolution are a few of the steps to personal growth.

Letting anger work for you: being angry may be a favorable force, helping you to recognize that you are a worthwhile human, worthy of happiness. This is good as it means you’re ready to quit weeping and start to heal, to reconstruct you life and self-belief. If the anger turns to bitterness, then it’s negative and needs to be dealt with.

Accomplish something special: Go on a trip with individuals you love and feel like are supportive. Escaping from a terrible situation will help you gain a fresh perspective, heal more quickly and become regenerated.

Forgive yourself and attempt to forgive the individual that’s hurt you. They might not merit forgiving, but you merit the mending and the freedom you’ll acquire by doing so. You may ask “Why/How should I forgive them after what they did to me?” and that’s a fair question. the thing is, forgiving is letting go of the hold that the other person has on you through what they did. It’s for your benefit, not theirs.

Meditate: When we’re hurt it impacts more than just our minds, but our bodies and spirits as well. Take time to become hushed and meditate and/or pray, if that’s what’s right for you. Tell the higher power all about how you feel.

Laughter is like medication for the soul. Rent some  movies you find funny and just laugh. Laughing feels great and releases endorphins. You’re on your way to healing and becoming stronger than ever and will be a more substantial individual.

Bad Start!

Unfortunately, the year hasn’t started well! We’re only at the 2nd of January and the theme was not much in evidence today! I’m like kids in a sweetshop (candy store for you Americans) where the Internet is concerned. I decided to spend the day learning more about SEO but have been all over the net, clicking on hyperlinks that looked like fun. I forgot to focus!

Social Media Distractions

There’s so  much enticing and exciting stuff out there, new WordPress themes, plugins, forums to explore etc. That’s without even opening my Google Reader or visiting my usual haunts! Five pm and I’ve only read one, 18 page pdf on SEO; the rest of the time was spent “researching”. I need to focus and work smarter, not fritter away my time . For me, that means learning to focus on one thing at a time.

It’s not just on-line. I usually have several books on the go at once, as a topic seizes my interest. Unfortunately, this often means I don’t finish many of them. The same problem with writing. For example, I know that if I focus on creating an e-book, I can get one written, edited and published in less than 5 days. What tends to happen is I start, get halfway through, then think of another project I “just have to start” . The end result? Neither of them ever reaches completion! I need to develop focus.

How to Develop Focus

But how? The Indian proverb tells us that the best way to eat an elephant is one mouthful at a time, so I guess starting with small things makes sense. I’m going to start by changing a few habits; instead of working organically (which in my case means disorganised chaos) I need a plan, with some priorities to focus on. For example, I could allocate an hour a day to catching up with things in my Reader; I could also set aside time for linkedin and ecademy rather than drifting in and out of them every hour.

Most of all, I need to decide what is a worthwhile use of my time and what is a distraction. I cannot be an active member of many networking sites; I believe in quality of contacts, not quantity. This means replying to posts, to personal messages etc. I don’t see how people can sustain active membership in lots of sites, not if they have a job to do as well.

Please, help me out here: what are your tips for developing focus, bearing in mind it’s not something that comes naturally to me?

So, in keeping with the spirit of the season, click here to download a gift from me, an ebook on the inspiration we can get from looking at the lives of some great people.

Feel free to print it or to pass electronic copies to friends. The file is a little large at 350kb so please allow it time to download.

Enjoy and please leave a comment.

Earlier this year, I wrote a post about the economic recession suggesting that we’re asking the wrong question. In it I suggested that instead of asking when the recession should end and when will things get back to normal, we should instead be asking ourselves  “What message is this crisis giving us about the need to change?” Many thanks to all of those who sent me messages of support about the post – this post explores the question further.

It’s extremely easy to point the finger at the bankers and financial industry and blame them for the economic downturn. In an interview in March, Mr Varley, the Chief Executive of Barclays Bank suggested that there was little that the government could do to make life “difficult” for bankers and he went on to say that it was ‘very unlikely’ that what he described as “the fundamental competitiveness of Barclays would ever be threatened by the decisions of the Government”. How arrogant and out of touch with public sentiment can one get?

But I wonder how much of our finger pointing is an attempt at some level to avoid having to look at our own behaviour. After all, the concept of supply and demand is a  basic one that underpins economics. If there had been no demand for easy credit, if people hadn’t wanted to risk mortgages that they could barely afford when interest rates were low, there would have been no point in the financial sector offering them. Let’s be honest about this. The ‘80s, ‘90s and ‘00s have been an era of keeping up with the Joneses. Easy credit and mortgages we can ill afford have all fuelled our desire to meet our wants, confusing wants with needs.

I read recently about a rich guy who was quite despondent that his 100 ft yacht, that had been the biggest in the local marina, had just been outdone by a couple of larger models. It made no difference to the quality of the sailing offered by his yacht, or to the amount he had invested in it. What mattered was the symbol – it had been the biggest and the best in the marina; now it wasn’t, and that spoiled the experience for him! Did he need such a big yacht? Most people would agree that such a possession is a want and not a need.

And whilst we may not have yachts, we all have our own version of them. How much of what we have do we truly need, as opposed to want? How much of our rampant consumerism is just to satisfy wants? “When is enough, enough? ”And what sort of role model does it provide our children with? How do you respond when your 7 year old comes home from school and says (s)he wants an iPhone? Perhaps that’s when the penny should drop that we’ve gone down the wrong track!

There is a backlash starting in some areas – it’s interesting that one of the most popular self-development blogs on the web is at www.zenhabits.net where the message is about simplifying our lives and minimalism.

My wife and I live in a small appartment and we’ve accumulated a lot of stuff since we moved in. next week we’re going to do a huge de-cluttering exercise to reduce the contents to the essentials (plus a few luxuries, of course). What’s interesting when you do such an exercise is different people’s definition of needs vs wants!

There are lots of lessons to be learned from the economic downturn. As a start, I suggest the following:

• Care for the poor is essential for the common good. Some people are going to have to revise their opinion that the unemployed are just lazy. The downturn has led to many “middle-class” people losing their jobs and a realisation that in many cases, “job security” is a myth.
• Spending money we don’t have just to satisfy our “needs cravings” is an unhealthy foundation upon which to build a society or a family.
• A healthy society is a balanced society in which markets, the government, and our communities all play a role.
• The counterbalance to greed is to realise that there is enough for everyone if we share it.
• Just because something is legal, and we can do it, doesn’t mean that we should. I believe that our sense of what is right and wrong is more important than, and should always come before, our legal and economic system.
• It used to be that only God was seen as being all knowing, all present  and all powerful. Somewhere during the last 50 years we have attributed those same qualities to The Market, and in particular the financial markets. Those who question this new deity, the great God Market, as seen as being as heretical as those who questioned the Will of God in days gone by.
• We need to find a way to regulate the banks so that they can make a profit for their investors but cannot operate based upon the greed of recent times. I was shocked to read earlier this week that the bankers still don’t think that anything that they have done is wrong and they don’t understand how angry people are.

We need to get relationships back into banking. It is interesting to note that in the USA, the banks that have survived and thrived during the downturn have been those that are smaller and where managers know the people they are lending to. Do you think it’s a coincidence that all of the bad lending decisions that have been made, and all of the financial irregularities in the financial sector have happened at the same time as the role of the bank manager and branch manager in the building societies has been reduced to little more than a clerical role? I don’t!

• Most important of all for me is that it’s time to stop keeping up with the Joneses and time to start ensuring that the Joneses are okay. We need to learn that our own good is entwined with the common good – government, business and the community need to work together and not in competition with each other. In that way we can create businesses that thrive and operate in a just manner.

Ask yourself the following questions:

1. Who do you know that was in a “secure” job that has been a victim of the recession? In practical terms, how can you help them? In some of the poorest areas of America, people are using vacant areas of ground to grow vegetables that are then shared with the needy.
2. How will you teach the young about the difference between wants and needs? What will you say when they feel left out because all of their friends have got a wii, a playstation, an X-Box, a laptop and an iPhone?
3. What are you going to do to return your focus to what are genuine needs and to stop feeding this consumerism monster we have all created?

1. In which situation(s) might it be a good idea for you to develop more detachment?
2. What does “wealth” mean to you?
3. What does “success” mean to you?
4. If you pursue success, what affect might that have on relationships that are key to you?
5. What non-material riches do you have?
6. When do you feel that your life is like a roller-coaster ride?
7. When has “going with the flow” turned out to be the right thing to do?
8. When has “going with the flow” turned out to be the wrong thing to do?
9. When have you been generous to others?
10. When have you felt yourself to be a victim of life?
11. Which cycle of your life is beginning/would you like to start?
12. Which cycle of your life is coming to an end/would you like to end?
13. Which seemingly fortunate circumstances have caused you problems in the longer term?
14. Which apparently unfortunate circumstances have you benefitted from?

Modern quantum physicists have demonstrated that matter and energy are interchangeable; matter is simply another form of energy. In other words, everything is comprised of energy! The human body, and indeed the bodies of every living thing, is made up of energy and sustained by energy. Each of the body’s organs and glands not only has a different function, but also has a different rate of vibration.

Nowadays, our lives are becoming more and more hectic to the extent that so many people have forgotten how to relax their bodies and minds. We end up either over-energised, with manic behaviour, or with severely depleted energy levels,

In despair, some turn to drugs or alcohol to try to shut out life’s constant pressures only to find that this numbs the body and mind but does nothing to help their long term ability to cope. Physical or nervous breakdowns ensue, leading to a health crisis at a national level.

A significant factor underpinning this health crisis is an over-reliance on adrenalin. Fast-paced living, junk food, caffeine and other stimulants, chronic and/or acute stress all place a load on the adrenals. The result? Most people’s adrenals are overworked.

In trying to find healthy ways to prevent this from happening, we have been exploring the uses of the Quantum Wave Laser (QWL) as a relaxation device. This combines the therapeutic uses of Low Level Laser Therapy with some interesting approaches to light waves (using sine waves rather than straight lines.) We’ve only had the machine for a couple of months but our experience is that the machine helps the body into a similar state to that experienced with deep meditation.

As the basis of the QWL is laser technology, it is also a very powerful device for helping the body to heal itself from a whole host of conditions.

I’ll be posting more information as I gain greater experience of using the machine.

1. The Social Media World is a Wide One.

Many years ago I was given a great bit of advice: don’t think about what you want to write, think about what the audience needs to read in order for you to meet your objective. This may take deep thought, as the social media audience has a wide range of needs.

2. Plan

It’s so tempting to just open up the word processor and start writing your latest social media masterpiece but even with short pieces, it’s better to spend a few minutes planning. Decide on your objective and list the points you must cover in order to meet that objective. In a longer piece, you can expand the list to include those things you should cover (less important than the musts), and those you could (the anecdotes etc that give colour to the piece).

3. Use short sentences and everyday words

Expertise is not demonstrated by using long, complicated sentences. Rather, short sentences using everday words to decribe complex issues in simple ways is the hallmark of a true expert. Remember, social media covers most of the modern world and not all of you readers will be reading in their mother tongue.

4. Avoid the passive

Keep to the structure subject, verb, object unless you are using the passive to create surprise. If I write “At the end of the conference the President was interviewed by a  school girl”, this creates surprise because of the unusual end to the sentence. Writing “A school girl interviewed the President at the end of the conference” loses the surprise element.

5. Write from your heart

People often tell me that they’d love to get stuck into the social media world but aren’t good at writing. If you write from your heart, with honesty, sincerity and passion, people will forgive you the occasional grammatical error. If you really feel uncomfortable writing, then examine the new kid on the social media block – video blogging.

6. Be careful with superlatives

They are overused and often unnecessary. An occasional superlative is acceptable, peppering your piece with them is not. This applies to another area of social media, internet marketing. I read an advert the other day describing something as “extremely unique.” Unique means one of a kind, you can’t be extremely one of a kind! The superlative is redundant.

7. Make impact at the start

The social media world offers people a lot of choice. If you are boring, they will quickly move on. So find a way to make impact from the start. This will entice people into wanting to read more. If you can’t think of a way to do it, beginning by asking the readers a question is often a good tactic as it draws them into your piece.

8. Be Direct

Throughout social media, I see people writing as if they are trying to emulate Sir Humphrey in “Yes Minister”. Don’t pad out your sentences, it casts doubt in the readers’ minds. Being direct also adds impact to your work.

9. Check your Spelling

Readers know that writing software comes with spell-checking, so use it or you will lose credibility.

10. Use examples the social media world can relate to

It’s usually more elegant to use examples that your audience can releate to than to attempt to write something that is theoretical.

11. Edit your work

When editing, keep the ABC of effective writing in mind; accuracy, brevity and clarity. Cut out unnecessary words, go though the piece again, and cut again!

And the most important rule:

12. Never, Never, Never be boring!

Yes, never! Social media audiences have a short attention span so find interesting ways to put over your message.

13. Model Yourself on the Social Media Rockstars.

Model does not mean copy. You have to find your own voice. It means looking at what works, what doesn’t, what you can adapt to your own style. Find writing you like from the social media greats and put it in your own words.