Do You Control Your Life?

Do you believe you have no control over your life? Are you who you are today, by choice or by fate? Will a change in your actions create a change in your life? Many people have given up on their dreams… they say, “Dreaming is only for the rich. When you have money, you can dream. When you have no money, don’t dream.”

That’s true… not everyone is lucky enough to be born with a silver spoon. If you are lacking in funds, it’s going to be difficult to start living life the way you want to. Money buys you freedom to follow your passions. But you don’t have to give up on your dreams, just because you lack money.

Feeling Out Of Control Of Your Life?

Depending on where you are brought up, you will face limitations depending on your family finance, culture, and environment. Some of us are born to have easy lives, while some are born to take a more challenging path. Perhaps the limitations and obstacles you currently face, that lead to feeling out of control of your life,  are part of your journey — you must overcome them to grow stronger on the path to achieving your goals.

If You Want to Live Your Dream – Take Control of Your Life!

When we are young, we all seem to have clear idea of what we want to be when we grow up. But somewhere along the way, these dreams get buried under the reality of daily living. The focus shifts from ‘living the dream’ to just ‘finding a good job with a stable income’. “Survival first”, as they call it. The sad part is that many people spend much of their lives doing what they don’t like, so they can finally earn enough to start doing what they do like.

I say, that’s a great way to bury your happiness and turn into an economic slave. Doing what you dislike, day after day, will numb the sense of joy within you. Soon you will feel that your life has no greater purpose, and there is nothing to look forward to but work, work, work…. You will have forgotten how much fun it is to spend your time doing the things you like to do.

The Secret to Living Your Dreams

It’s painful if you don’t make enough money to live comfortably. But what ís more painful is if the work you do has no meaning to you. Everyday you can drag yourself to work, perform meaningless actions, and then drag yourself back home. Apart from sleeping, work takes up the majority of our time. So if you’re not enjoying your work, you’re not enjoying your life. And life is so short, isn’t it?

Your Life is Happening Right Now!

We probably have less than a hundred years to make our mark in this world. And you never know… you fail to look while crossing the road and BOOM! You could be gone tomorrow. So why spend your life doing something you don’t like to do? We don’t slog three-quarters of our lives just so we can enjoy one-quarter… we might not live that long. Understand that the essence of your life is happening right now — you are walking a path; making your journey through life.

And if the work you do, is not designed to help you fulfill your higher purpose in life, then perhaps you are walking in the wrong direction. No point taking this path… change direction.

If you want to feel in control, if you want your dream to stay alive, you have to act on it. It’s like a fire that grows brighter and stronger if you fan its flames and keep adding wood. If you leave the fire alone, never doing anything to keep it alive, it will burn itself out. When you fail to act on your dreams, they die.

The Music In You

There is music within you, and you only need to coax it out. The daily grind forces us to forget what we love to do. Imagine you’re retired. You have enough money to live comfortably, but not to splurge. How would you spend your time? What activities would you find purpose in? What would you do to amuse yourself?

If you have an idea of what you would love to do but are not doing, then schedule some time everyday to do it. Making time for what you love is just like fanning the flames of your passion — the fire can only grow stronger. It’s what will bring a sense of purpose and meaning into your life; that spark of joy and wonder.

The happiest people are those who enjoy their work. They’ve managed to make money doing what they love to do, just like Leanne. And this can happen for you… if you are willing to reject the World’s Greatest Lie. Realize that you always have control over your actions, and therefore your results. The only time your start to fail in life, is when you stop believing in your ability to make a difference.

You don’t need a silver spoon; you don’t need to be a genius. What you need is a sincere belief in yourself and willingness to take action towards your dreams. Believe me, you have what it takes. It’s your choice – believe the world’s greatest lie, or take control of your life!

What have you done to further unleash your potential this year? I realised I was neglecting my oen self-development and as a result have done the following:

1. Attended 3 conferences/courses dedicated to self-improvement
2. Since August, have meditated for at least 20 minutes each morning, mainly simple “focus on the breath” style.
3. Read uplifting books at least 30 minutes each day, often much longer.

What have you started doing, stopped doing, are doing more of or less of this year?

- Pay attention to the current moment
- Connect-Engage-Share with others
- Take action
- Let go of the need to be in control
- Accept that effectiveness is the measure of truth
- Let go of the need to be right
- Notice where you need to change
- Be present
- Let go of the need to be a victim
- Be grateful for what you have
- Pay attention
- Ask yourself regularly “What’s going on inside me at this moment?”
- Let go of the need to understand with your mind

I hope that these are useful for you too!

Have a great week

World Cup Success Team

We won and although I’d never played at that level before, I was told I’d acquitted myself well. The credit goes to my success team, which started long before the first ball was struck. Like many sportspeople, I was one footed. I was confident kicking with my right foot but my left was another issue entirely. This is where the first member of my success team made a huge contribution.

My son was born a few years earlier and as soon as he could stand, he wanted to kick a football. then he wanted to play in goal. I quickly realised I had an opportunity to learn with him – I could learn to kick with my left foot. Within about a year, he developed into a promising soccer goalkeeper and my left foot kicking had improved hugely. I no longer needed to move into awkward positions to ensure I could use my right foot. I was happy with either.

Once I’d been selected for the World Cup, a couple of players I played with at the club helped me with skills training, hitting the ball on hard wooden floors indoors, creating overspeed training. When I played outdoors, it was so much easier as the ball travelled slower and I had more time to react John Lehman and Jeff Day, two more members of my success team.

The last member of the success team fell into place; I was coaching at the local university where Nick Taylor, the England U21 goalkeeper was studying. He put me through several training sessions, aimed at improving my decision making and ironing out some technical problems.

My New Success Team

I doubt that many people have had outstanding achievements without their version of a success team. Picking up on what I learned from my World Cup experience, I’ve been looking for a coach or mentor to help me with marketing online. It took some searching, but I’ve hooked up with Simon Coulson of The Internet Business School (see sidebar). Why? because Simon has been there and done it himself and has a great team behind him I can tap into – instant success team!

Success Team vs Doing it Alone.

One of the most disabling ideas in today’s world is the myth that it’s “me against the world”.  People cite all kinds of examples of the “self-made” millionaires which have created the fable that I’m only successful if I do it on my own.” I doubt that anyone has ever achieved anything without a success team.

Invisible members of Your Success Team

Those who supported the successful person may have considered themselves, or been considered by others, as part of X’s formal “success team”. One of the great things about world is that we may never even meet some of the members of our success team. Authors, conference speakers, role-models, media speakers can all teach us things if we are open to them. They are just as important as those who are more openly seen as members of our success team.

Moreover, those who are spiritual will say that God, The Universe, or whatever name they use are part of their success team but I’d be surprised if they’ve ever met their Supreme Being!

Success Team Exercise

Here’s an interesting exercise to do:

1. List the people who are already a part of your success team. remember to list both visible and invisible members.
2. Look and see which roles are missing – ask yourself who do you already know who could fill these roles. If there are still some roles left unfilled, ask yourself who you’d most like to fill them.

I hope I’ve convinced you that you are unlikely to, and it’s unnecessary to try to, succeed on your own. Good luck in building your success team and dom let me know how you get on!

Bridging the Integrity Gap.

People talk about personal development but this is a misnomer. We have all of the skills we need to live a more bountiful life than we can ever imagine. Life is a treasure, and we are so much more than we know. Rather than personal development, we should be thinking about self discovery and reconnecting with the potential we showed as children. Part of this self-discovery focuses on bridging the integrity gap.

Bridging the Integrity Gap to Our Youth.

As children we were pure potential and our lives reflected our awesomeness. There was no question of bridging the integrity gap, we were congruent. We were innocent and pure, focused, passionate, unconditionally loving. Our creativity knew no boundaries as we used our imagination and dreamed big dreams. We trusted others and believed in ourselves. We saw the world as a source of abundance, of limitless possibilities.

We could play for hours, creating from our imaginations, totally absorbed in what we were doing. We shaped the world to fit our imagination, our dreams, our needs. We knew how the world worked for us. We said what we felt, asked for what we needed and there was never a question of our needing to bridge any integrity gap.

The Integrity Gap Surfaces.

Then we began to change. We betrayed ourselves in order to fit in with parents, teachers, friends, our tribe. We went from being authentic individuals to becoming sheepwalkers. We started to adopt other people’s views about the world and how it works. We adopted other people’s views about our roles in the world. Worse of all, we started to take on other people’s fears about the world.

As this became painful, we moved from our hearts into our heads, living in our minds. For many, we spent more and more time thinking about how we could please others by thinking and behaving in ways that fitted in with them and their needs, not ours. We started to hide our light, to give up our personal power. We behaved and thought as we were told to, whether or not it fitted in with the real us. The integrity gap began to flourish.

The integrity gap flourishes whenever we behave in a way designed to get approval,  behave in a way that does not honour our authentic selves. We learned that the best way to behave was in a way that did not annoy our parents, teachers and friends – children (and adults) crave approval and end up believing that the best way to get that approval is to behave in the way they wanted us to act.
Of course, sometimes limits had to be placed on our behaviour, for our own good. But we also found that limits were being placed on our spirit, which is never right.

Bridging the Integrity Gap and Your Music.

Thoreau once wrote: “Most people die with their music still in them.” He went on to write “If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured and far away.” The process of bridging the integrity gap begins with recognising the sound of your music and accepting its uniqueness.

We Need to Begin Bridging the Integrity Gap.

Far too many people live in an unauthentic way. We live other people’s lives (our parents’ or spouse’s, for example) rather than living the lives uniquely meant for us. That is when bridging the integrity gap becomes so important.

The more we lost site of our individuality, the more we grew into someone we were never meant to be. The more that happened, the more self-respect we lost, deep down inside ourselves, and the more our self-worth diminished. To cover the pain and incongruence, our subconscious minds shuts down our conscious awareness of this, yet there is a huge irony. As David Whyte wrote “The soul would rather fail at its own life than succeed at someone else’s.” It’s as if a part of us begins to wither and die. We need to begin bridging the integrity gap.

Authenticity and Bridging the Integrity Gap.

Another quote, this time from Ashley Montague: “The deepest personal defeat suffered by human beings is constituted by the difference between what one was capable of becoming and what one has in fact become.”

Bridging the integrity gap begins by going deep inside of yourselves and getting in touch with your authentic self. Identify your core values and beliefs and define how you want to behave. Set the standards for your life that are necessary if you want to be true to yourself.. Write down how you will think, feel, behave when you are living your authentic life. This is one of the great gifts that comes from bridging the integrity gap – reconnecting with your authentic self, the person you were meant to be and the life you were always meant to live.

So, to sum up, be authentic, be real, be yourself. Find your music and march to the beat of your drummer. This is what bridging the integrity gap is all about. Write a journal of your authentic life, your dreams and aspirations, the standards you set and the changes that come into your life as you go through the process. Good luck – bridging the integrity gap isn’t easy but it’s an important step in the process of self discovery.

Growing Old 25 Years Ago

I wonder whether part their perception of growing old had to do with them only being 5 years from retirement at 55. We’re at least 10 years away, possibly 15. But that’s not the only thing. We seem to be more physically active as well.

Self Employment Stops You Growing Old

In addition, perhaps it’s also because I’ve worked for myself for most of the time since 1990. I haven’t suffered the trials and tribulations of being made redundant, or the disappointment of being passed over for promotion. I’ve been able to choose my work and I’ve never had to do things for a boss whose ideas I disagreed with. I firmly believe that for some people, these all contribute to their growing old.

I also have no plans to retire and don’t have to face a company’s retirement age. Retirement is an exit strategy, and exit strategies are for passengers, not pilots! And it’s amazing how retiring pushes some people into growing old quickly!

Finding a Cause Will Keep You From Growing Old Too Soon

The way I look at it, I have at least another 20 years of work ahead of me. In other words I’m only halfway through my self-employment, which has led me to reflect on what I want to do. I came across this quote by Shimon Peres, on the purpose of life,  in one of Robin Sharman’s books: “Find a cause that’s larger than yourself and then give your life to it.”  That’s a big idea, one I’m currently pondering.

Regaining Childhood

I’ve also been doing a lot of reading about growing old, and came across this quote from David Taylor: “When you were a child, you had natural strengths that you still have. These include innocence (having a very open mind), passion (loving what you do), unconditional love (seeing the best in people), bravery and persistence (the ability to keep going), self-belief and just the wonder of life. Return to your true self, by awakening these natural gifts.”

I want to simplify my life, to clear out the clutter and return to the above. In addition, I’ve realised I can help slow down the process of growing old by resting on past victories and becoming complacent, nor dwelling on past failures and becoming cynical. Cynicism hides pain and insecurity and is unnatural: you never come across cynical children, not until adults teach them to be so. Cynicism also seems to speed up the process of growing old!

Good Manners

Incidentally, and perhaps this is a sign that I am growing old whatever happened to old-fashioned good manners, to “please” and “thank you”? I’m going to strive to make sure I never forget them, as they are important. They recognise the other person and validate them. 

Growing Old and Wealthy

I’ve also learned that there are different forms of wealth and balancing them seems to be a good recipe for preventing growing old prematurely: relationship, health, mind, financial, career, adventure, spiritual, meaningful contribution and I want to be sure to balance all of them. (Looks like food for another article soon!). I’m in the process of putting together a daily plan that covers exercise, quiet time for personal spiritual growth and writing time in addition to the coaching and management training courses I run.

Plan My Time

This is important for me as I spend a lot of time in hotels due to work – 60 nights between mid September and mid December. It’s easy to cruise and not use the time constructively – I’m going to make sure I do use the time positively and still have time left for seeing friends and colleagues some evenings.

A Great Relationship Stops You From Growing Old Too Soon!

So many couples work hard bringing up their children and when the latter leave home, they realise they have no relationship. Everything had been for the kids! I’m lucky, I have a wife who is younger than me, full of zest for life and it’s certainly stopping me from growing old. I can’t afford to, I’d never keep up!

Samuel Ullman and Wrinkles

As final inspiration, I love this quote from Samuel Ullman: “We don’t grow old just by living a number of years. We grow old by deserting our ideals. Years may wrinkle the skin but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.”  I’d love to know of you can relate to the above and have a question for all of you 50 somethings (and younger): how do you view growing old?

Give to Gain Now a Core Practice.

Roll the clock forward to today and 5 figures worth of debt has been eradicated and I almost broke down in tears when I was able to pay cash for a new car last year. And give to gain is an important part of my life now, and of my financial recovery.

The reason? Not a get rich quick scam that worked – I did not “inherit” wealth from Nigeria or set up a passive income stream that makes me money in my sleep. The only get rich quick scheme I can conceive of that might work would be to find a good product, do some smart advertising and make people ring an 0900 number to place orders. Even then, the 0900 number would probably make more money than the product!

No, it was much more simple than that. I met and married a wonderful woman who comes from a strongly spiritual South African background. Her father had instilled in her the importance of managing money and that you have to give to gain. Her mother had taught her the importance of tithing – even if money is a little tight, her mother will always give 10% of what she has to the poor.

Start Give to Gain When You are Still in Financial Difficulty

I was sceptical – after all, what would be the point of embracing give to gain if I sometimes had less than enough to make ends meet? But I respect my in-laws hugely and decided to follow their and my wife’s example. A little at a time, I started applied give to gain, donating  money to causes. (I also learned that charities have a lot to learn about social media, they spam like crazy once you’ve made a donation, but that’s another story.)

The first thing I notice was the energetic and emotional lift it gave me – not in a smug, self-satisfied way – it felt good to help someone out. An intangible benefit of give to gain that I had not anticipated!

Gradually, my own position improved; the more I gave, the more I earned. It seems corny and even trite, but it’s true.

I prefer to give lump sums rather than a monthly direct debit – each to their own, I guess.

Give to Gain and Emotional Support

I also learned another aspect of give to gain. it does not have to be financial. A year or so a go a couple of members of a social networking site of which I’m a member, Ecademy.com suffered bereavements and posted later about how much strength they gained from Ecademy members’ expressions of support.

I contrasted that with my own experience 6 months before joining Ecademy – my wife had emergency surgery and had to be resuscitated several times. For a couple of days I felt very alone; I realise now that had I been a member of Ecademy at that time, where there are many people who understand the give to gain philosophy, there are people there I could have called or messaged and would have got all of the support I needed.

Phil Mickelson

I know we’re in a recession but I believe we have a duty to make sure that the spirit of Give to Gain is not allowed to wither during these tough times. We can find uplifting stories everywhere and we can do our bit to help others. I cried earlier this year  when I read Phil Mickelson’s unbridled joy that his wife, who 18 months ago was being treated for cancer, was able to walk alongside him for a full 18 holes for the first time since her illness.

Who can I lift up today? Who knows, but I’m determined to spend the week complaining less and listening more – perhaps that will help someone in a small way. It’s certainly an important part of the give to gain approach to life.

Have a great week and please let me know of your experiences with give to gain.

Victim Mode Means Not Taking Action

Did you ever notice that people in victim mode believe that sitting back on the sofa and mumbling a few positive affirmations will attract wealth. They site “The Secret” and “The Law of Attraction” as justification but they’ve missed something important. If they want to attract success, they have to take action. People in victim mode miss the key hidden in plain sight in the word “Attraction” it contains the words “Attract” and “Action”!

You have to trust that you’re the one who produces your success, just as you’re the one who produces your mediocrity. Consciously or unconsciously, it’s still you. Rather than taking responsibility for what’s happening in their lives, people in victim mode ‘s prevailing thought is often “poor me.” So presto, by virtue of the law of intent, that’s literally what victims get: they get to be “poor”.

Let me make one thing clear –  I don’t believe that anyone in victim mode is a victim. I believe individuals play at victim mode as their perception is that it gets them something.

3 Clues to  Identify Victim Mode

How can you tell when individuals are playing in victim mode? They leave 3 obvious clues.

Victim Mode Clue #1: The Blame Game

When it comes to why they’re not wealthy, people in victim mode are experts at the “blame game”. The object of this game is to see how many individuals and conditions they can point the finger at without ever examining themself. Victim Mode means being blind to your faults.

People in victim mode blame the economic system, the government, the stock exchange, their broker, their type of business, their employer, their employees, their manager, the head office, their up-line or down-line, customer service, the shipping department, their partner, their mate, the higher power, the environment and naturally, they always blame their parents. It’s always somebody else or something else that’s to blame. The issue is anything or anybody but them.

Victim Mode Clue #2: Rationalizing

If people in victim mode aren’t playing the blame game, you’ll frequently find them rationalizing their situation by stating something like “Money’s not important”, or “It’s not winning, it’s taking part that’s important. I’ve never heard rich people say the first, or winners the second

Would you marry someone if they weren’t significant to you? Of course not. Would you play golf regularly if it wasn’t important to you? Of course not! In the same way, if you don’t believe cash is significant, you won’t have any. And people who are regularly in victim mode are  usually broke.

If someone in victim mode says to you “Money’s not significant,” here’s a trick you can play on them: put your hand on your forehead and look up as if you’re getting a message from the heavens, then shout, “You’re broke!” To which they will undoubtedly reply, “How did you know?”

Moreover, as I wrote last time, if you don’t have money, you can’t support worthwhile causes!

Victim Mode Clue #3: Complaining

Complaining undermines both your health and your wealth. Why? I’m a huge believer in the universal law that states, “energy flows where attention goes.”

When you’re complaining, what are you focusing on, what’s good with your life or what’s wrong with it? Obviously on what’s wrong with it. And since energy flows where attention goes, you’ll keep acquiring more of what’s wrong.

Have you ever noticed that people in victim mode who spend much of their time complaining commonly have a bad life? It seems that everything that could go wrong does go wrong. In victim mode they say, “Naturally I whine— look how lousy my life is”. And now that you know better, you may explain to them, “No, it’s because you whine that your life is so lousy!”

Avoid  Victim Mode People

Which brings us to a different point. Try not to put yourself in the proximity of people in victim mode in general and complainers in particular. If you really have to be near them, make certain you bring a steel umbrella or the crap meant for them will get you also!

The 7 Day Victim Mode Challenge.

Here’s some preparation that I promise will alter your life if you do tend to operate from victim mode. For the following 7 days, I challenge you to not complain at all. Not just aloud, but in your head too. But you have to do it for the entire 7 days. Why? You’ll be amazed at both how difficult it is and how rewarding, if you stick with it.

The blame game, rationalization, and complaining are like sedatives. They reduce the tension of failure but they don’t do anything about the problem.

From now on, as soon as you spot yourself slipping into victim mode, stop at once. Remind yourself that you’re producing your life and that at each moment, energy flows where attention goes.

The Secret About Victim Mode

Now you’re ready to read one of the biggest secrets in the world. Read this carefully: nobody who is truly wealthy spends much if any time in victim mode! Did you get that? Besides, who would listen? “Whaa, I’ve got to repaint my mansion.” To which almost anybody would reply, “Who gives a damn?”

What do individuals get out of being in victim mode? The answer is attention. And the sad thing is, if you rely on attention, you’re at the mercy of other people. You commonly wind up as a “people pleaser” begging for approval.

To repeat, there’s no such thing as a wealthy victim. I learned this the hard way after a financially ruinous divorce. As long as I sat around blaming life, complaining about “my fate” etc., I made no financial recovery. I had to move out of victim mode and take control of my life before things improved.

Renounce Victim Mode

Every time you blame, rationalize, or complain, you’re slitting your financial throat. It’s time to regain control of your power and acknowledge that you produce everything that’s in your life and everything that is not in it. You produce your wealth, your non-wealth, and each level in between.

So, if you recognize that you spend much of your life in victim mode, are you ready to renounce it and become financially successful?  Remember, nobody who is truly wealthy spends much if any time in victim mode!

Financial Success Tip 1: Go Where the Growth Is

Go to where the growth is, and where you are able to bring in revenue. Don’t chase after just any business; chase the business where you are able to fruitfully grow and thereby create financial success. Be choosy and invest resources in growth markets.

Financial Success Tip 2: Focus on What Your Customers Want

Centre your efforts on markets you understand best. It’s crucial you understand that financial success comes not from just doing what you like, but from doing what buyers appreciate. Release junk, customs and “playing it safe” behaviours. Financial growth is the result of learning to do what the market desires, not attempting to protect the past – whether actions, products or even buyers.

Financial Success Tip 3: Let Go of “I Know That”

You wont grow and experience financial success unless you’re willing to learn from everything around you. Those who flourish don’t quit – they seek ways to turn those sour experiences into suitable ones. What is your willingness to learn from the market?

Efficiency is the greatest obstacle to innovation. You don’t have to be extravagant to achieve financial success, but you can’t be a miser investing in only the matters you know, and have done previously.

Financial Success Tip 4: Givers Gain

We don’t learn if we don’t share. Developing insight from the environment occurs when all inputs are shared, and lots of individuals contribute to the process.

Financial Success Tip 4: Develop Optimism

There’s more to financial success than the ability of positive thinking, but it’s really hard to gain insight and push innovation when you are a pessimist. Growth is a chance to learn, and accomplish exciting things. That ought to be a positive for everyone.
Remember, we don’t fear change, we fear the unidentified. As your experiences teach you about fresh opportunities and markets your fear will lessen and exhilaration will replace it.

Financial Success Tip 5: Foster Creativity

Recognizing that you can’t beat the cost-cutting horse eternally, it’s time business leaders recognize that we’ve been under-investing in creativity for the last decade. While GM, Circuit City, Blockbuster, have been failing, Apple, Google, Facebook and Twitter have achieved ongoing financial success and double-digit growth! Those who keep innovating recognize that markets aren’t dead, they’re scarcely shifting!

Growth is there for businesses willing to innovate fresh answers that attract buyers – and their dollars! For each dead DVD store there’s someone making cash streaming downloads. Businesses merely have to invest more in innovation and less on efficiency and “core” plans.

Financial Success Tip 6: Connect the Dots

Work harder at trying to “connect the dots”. Pick up on weak signals, before other people, and establish scenarios to understand the future impact of these signals as they get stronger. Being at the forefront, if you pick the right horse, is a certain recipe for financial success. For instance, the net predicts that greater use of mobile devices will annihilate some businesses. Cloud computing could lead to a complete change in the computer industry as we won’t need such powerful PCs and Laptops.

But for each of these there will be a big number of fresh business opportunities emerging, any of which could yield financial success. Simply view the efforts of Foursquare and Groupon to see where emergent businesses are headed.

Financial Success Tip 7: Focus Globally

Pay attention to what’s happening in the world, and consider what it means for your business. Oil has an affect; what opportunity does it produce for financial success? Slumping network TV watching has an affect – how will you leverage this tilt for more financial succes? Don’t simply wander through your market, responding to events using auto-pilot. Work out what fresh trends are developing, and learn to realize growth opportunities. Utilize market events to be proactive.

Financial Success Tip 8: Keep Asking “Why?” and “Why Not?”

Continue asking “why”. Then, produce scenarios and ask “why not”. Markets won’t tell you what the next huge thing is, but if you ask a lot of questions your scenarios about the future will be a whole lot better – and your experiment will be significantly more productive.

Financial Success Tip 9: Develop and Expand Your Network

You can’t cast your net too wide in the effort to receive multiple viewpoints. Nothing is narrower or will hamper your financial success more than restricting yourself to your own convictions. Only by actively tapping input from wide-ranging sources may we develop alternative solutions that have greater value.

We get so comfortable talking to the same individuals, inside our companies and outside, that we don’t realize how much we hear only supports our biases. Develop, and expand, your network as fast as conceivable.

I hope this is useful for you – more tips on achieving  financial success in the coming days.

What You Think is the Best Choice May Not Be!

You make what you believe is the correct choice. The issue, however, is that what makes perfect sense to you might systematically produce utterly poor results.

For example, let’s say I’m in a shopping mall. I see this grey pinstripe suit on sale for 25 percent off. I have a choice to buy or not. I immediately go to my brain files with the question “Should I get this suit?” In a nanosecond, my brain files come back with the response: “You’ve been seeking a grey to go with those blue shirts you bought last week. Buy it!” As I rush to the checkout, my choice made, my brain isn’t only thrilled about having this great suit, but glowing with pride because of the 25 percent reduction.

To my brain, this purchase makes utter sense. However, at no point did my brain come up with an alternative thought and choice: “True, this is a truly nice suit, and true, this is a good deal, but today I’m £3000 in debt, so I’d better wait.” I didn’t come up with that choice and that data because no file in my brain contains that. The file of “When you’re in debt, don’t buy any more” was never established and doesn’t exist, which means that specific choice isn’t an option.

New Files Changed My Choice Making

This was an important discovery for me because until about 18 months ago, I lived my life without that last file. I was in debt after getting divorced. Once I got my act together, I started to earn good money but I never seemed to reduce the debt. Then, I created 2 new “files”: The first was indeed “When you’re in debt, don’t buy any more” and the second “Give to others, no matter how little you believe you have.” Armed with these new “files”, my choice making changed.

Our Brains and Choice 

If you’ve got files in your cabinet that don’t support financial success, (or any kind of success for that matter), that will dictate the kind of choice you make. They’ll be instinctive, automatic, and make utter sense to you. But ultimately, they’ll still produce financial failure or mediocrity at the best. Poor choice = poor outcome.

Conversely, if you’ve got brain files that support financial success, your choice making will naturally and automatically produce success. You won’t have to consider it. Your normal way of thinking will result in success, sort of like Donald Trump. His neural pathways are wired by patterns of thinking and choice making that bring about wealth.

When it comes to financial success, wouldn’t it be unbelievable if you could inherently think and have a choice making process that reflects how wealthy people think? Well, you may! The first step in any change is awareness, meaning the opening move to thinking and choice making the way wealthy individuals do is to know how wealthy individuals think.

Rich individuals think really differently from poor and middle-class individuals. They think differently about cash, wealth, themselves, others, and pretty well every other aspect of life. We’re going to examine a few of these differences and, as part of your reconditioning, install alternative “wealth files” into your brain.

Different File, Different Choice.

Each fresh file means you can make a different choice. You may then catch yourself when you’re thinking like poor and middle-class individuals and consciously switch your focus to how wealthy individuals think and act. In other words, you may decide to think and make your choice governed by ways that will support you in your happiness and success rather than ways that don’t.

A few words of caution to start out. In no way, shape, or form do I mean to demean poor individuals. I don’t believe that rich individuals are better than poor people. They’re just richer. At the same time, I wish to make certain you get the message, so I’m going to make the distinctions between the rich and poor as extreme as possible.

When I talk about rich, poor, and middle-class individuals, what I’m referring to is their mindset—how different people think and act instead of the actual sum of money they’ve got or their value to society. Your wealth may not be financial wealth – there are other riches although the main focus of this article is financial.

I’ll be generalizing. Again, my objective is to make certain you get the point of every principle and use it. For the most part, I will not always be referring to the middle class specifically, because middle-class individuals commonly have a mix of rich and poor mindsets.

Several of the concepts might appear to deal more with habits and activities than with ways of thinking. Our activities come from our feelings, which come from our thoughts. Consequently, every rich activity is preceded by a rich way of thinking.

Make a Different Choice!

Finally, I’m going to ask you to be willing to relinquish being right! What I mean by that is, be willing to relinquish having to do it your way. How come?

As your way has gotten you precisely what you’ve got today. If you wish more of the same, continue doing it your way. If you’re not yet wealthy, however, perhaps it’s time you consider another way. It’s up to you. The concepts you’ll learn in subsequent articles are simple but profound.

They make true changes for real individuals in real life. If you learn them and utilize them, I’m confident they’ll transform your life too.

If you’re really serious about success and about changing your choice making, there is a great opportunity coming up in London at the beginning of September. T Herv Eker, who introduced me to what I’m writing about in this series of articles, is teaching a 3 day seminar in London.

I get no kickback or affiliate fee for mentioning this – rather, because he made such a huge impression on me when I first heard him, I’m passing on the details to you. Click on The Secrets of The Millionaire Mind to find out more.

I hope you enjoyed this introductory article – there’s a lot more to come but for now remember: The quality of your life really is governed by the quality of each choice you make!